Mannequin (1987) and Mannequin: On the Move (1991)
How many people are aware that the classic 80s flick, Mannequin, starring Kim Cattrall and Andrew McCarthy, had a really awful sequel?
In the first film, a contrary ancient Egyptian girl named Emmy (Cattrall) asks the gods to help her get out of her arranged marriage and lead her to her true love. In answer to her prayers, the gods teleport her through time where she has random romances with major historical figures. Finally she comes to possess a mannequin created by Jonathan Switcher (McCarthy). Not only does the guy she falls for have a tendency to get way too attached to the mannequins that he creates, but he also manages to get fired from the mannequin-creating business, and then proceeds to lose job after job, until finally getting hired at a department store by Claire Prince Timkin (Estelle Getty!) only because he saved her life. What a winner.
At his new job working in Timkins failing department store, Jonathan is introduced to the awesomely flamboyant chief window-dresser Hollywood Montrose (this character is probably the best part of the whole movie). That night Jonathan meets up with his mannequin who comes to life when hes the only one around to witness it (conveniently). They have fun and montages (Emmy hang glides in the mall), and the next day he wakes to find that hes created a masterpiece of a dressed window. Meanwhile, another department store employee named Richard (played by James Spader) is secretly in cahoots with the rival store (called Illustra, for god knows what reason), and trying to get Timkin to sell her store to them. But wait, Jonathans saving the store through window dressing! Curses!
Anyway, its the age-old story from there on out. Man falls for mannequin. Man gets caught making out with mannequin. Jealous ex-girlfriend tries to send mannequin through a wood chipper. Man saves mannequin and voila! The curse is broken. Oh, and by this time hes also vice president of the department store. REALLY GOOD WINDOW DRESSING, YOU GUYS.
The second Mannequin movie shoots for the quirkiness of the first, but falls short. In the second movie, a medieval peasant girl named Jessie (Kristy Swanson) is having a romance with a prince. The queen is not fussy on this, and has the royal sorcerer curse a necklace that turns her into a PLASTIC mannequin. The only way to break the curse is if she finds her true love, or waits 1000 years.
NEARLY 1000 years later, she coincidentally meets with her true love (a department store employee named Jason, who also lives with his mom, so another winner), who removes the necklace and frees her repeatedly throughout the movie. The be-moled sorcerers descendent, Count Spretzle, wants Jessie all to himself (as for some reason he believes the legend that she is really a cursed peasant girl, and NOT a plastic mannequin, as she appears to be), and travels from his country with the mannequin as the countrys national treasure, under the guise that hes lending her to the American department store (???). In reality, hes simply trying to flee his country, and take the mannequin to the Bahamas or something to have her all to himself when she turns back into a real lady. The current queen is also not fussy on this.
There are bad accents, bad costumes, but best of all HOLLYWOOD MONTROSE RETURNS! He tries on the necklace for a bit, so you get to see what hes like as a mannequin. Oh, and theres a rap at the end. And there are weird foreign henchmen who dress in awful 90s fashions. Just watch the movie. You will be simultaneously disappointed and delighted.
I do want to share this funny story. While at the Grand Canyon, another visitor (a lady) asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I chucked and said, "No thanks, I only make exceptions for Andrew McCarthy". She took a double take and said, "The Andrew McCarthy?" I replied yes, the one from SEF, PIP. She seemed really impressed and commented how my eyes seem to light up at the memory of meeting him (gosh, he must think I'm a goofball). She did want to know what he's like. I said that he was nicer in person than he was on TV...a total sweetheart. She liked the answer!
